Interactive Akatsuki Host Club
by Purplewolfstar35
Summary: Are you in mad love with a member of the Akatsuki? Well, this is for you Akatsuki fangirls and fanboys, your chance to sit down with a member and have them whisper sweet nothings into your ear. The Interactive Akatsuki Host Club, review for your chance!
1. Chapter 1

The Interactive Akatsuki Host Club

OK, so this is for all you Akatsuki fangirls (or fanboys) who wish they were dating or married to a member. Leave a name you would like to be called by in a review and the member you would like to be courted (I'm not sure if that's the right word) by and then, look for your part in the next chapter! I'd also appreciate your hair and eye color, and maybe your clothing choice if you'd like.

None of them will really fall in love with you, or anything…so don't hope to get married to them in the fic…it's just a one time thing, unless you keep leaving reviews and coming back.

All of the members are there, Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, Tobi, Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, Pein and even Konan! (I am aware she is female)

So, review, leave your name and look for the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome to the Akatsuki Host Club!

"Welcome," said a girl with purple hair. She had a badge on her chest that said her name. "My name is Kandai, and I'm the one running this club! Nice to meet you!" A long line of fangirls stood outside the door, anxiously awaiting their time with the hottest boys in the school. A red haired boy leaned over the girl's shoulder, "Kandai-chan do we have to do this?"

"Yes, it'll bring lots of money to our organization and Kakuzu will stop being cranky."

"But I don't like the fangirls…I like you!" (SASORI IS MINE!! Lol…sorry girls!)

"I know…just go sit down OK?" He slumped over to the coach and waited with the other members.

"Alright! First person, name?"

"My name is Kira. And I'd like to see Sasori and Deidara…is that alright?"

"Sure, right this way!" Kandai led the girl, Kira, over to a sitting area where sat the two Akatsuki boys in all their hotness.

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"Hello there, aren't you pretty…un." Deidara, the blond of the group was leaning casually over a chair staring at Kira. "H-hi Deidara-kun. I'm Kira."

"Nice to meet you Kira-chan," said Sasori, "please come sit." Nodding, the girl walked nervously over to the two boys and sat between them. Immediately Deidara started playing with her hair. "I can't get over how nice you look…are you a model Kira-chan, un?" Shaking her head, Kira blushed and giggled. "No, but thank you very much." "Credit where credit is do my dear," said Sasori.

"You two are so nice…"

"I think your nicer though, un." Deidara swooped down and whispered in her ear, "Sasori's much less fun then I am, talk to me OK?" Kira nodded and turned to face Deidara, and he put his head on her shoulder. "Your comfy…I could take a nap."

"Deidara, no falling asleep on the lovely girl…she may be offended," Sasori took Kira's hand in his and brought it up to his lips, "I apologize for my friend's actions Miss Kira."

"Aww…Sasori-danna…that's not fair! I wanted to kiss her first!" Deidara crossed his arms and pouted, glaring at the red head. "Can I Kira-chan?" Kira nodded and Deidara kissed her cheek swiftly. "You have soft skin."

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"Next? Ah, hello! Welcome to the Host Club!" "Hello, my name is Monoke Asumi…and I'd like to be with Itachi."

"Great, right this way!" Kandai led the girl over to where the Uchiha sat, looking at the window at the birds. "Itachi-kun? This girl would like to speak with you." Itachi turned his piercing eyes over to the girl, and gave a half smile. "Hello. What would your name be?"

"I'm Monoke Asumi. Nice to speak with you Uchiha-kun."

"Please, call me Itachi…may I call you Asumi?" Nodded vigorously Asumi sat down next to Itachi. "Or course Itachi-kun!"

"Thank you…you have a lovely name, it matches one so beautiful as yourself." Asumi giggled and blushed. "Oh, Itachi-kun I bet you say that to everyone."

"I may say it, but I don't mean it…" He kissed her cheek and stared into her eyes. "Do you like me Asumi-chan?"

"O-o-of course I do Itachi-kun!" Pulling the girl into a hug, he said, "good. I do too."

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"Right this way Kano-chan! Zetsu-kun, Tobi-kun, you have a visitor!"

Zetsu's head popped up, "me? I have green hair…no one likes me."

"YAY TOBI THE GOOD BOY HAS A NEW FRIEND!!"

Kano sat down and crossed her legs while the two boys stared at her. "Um…hi?"

"Tobi has a pretty friend…wow…see that Zetsu-san? She's pretty."

"Shut up baka, she's not pretty. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

"I'm flattered Zetsu-kun…but I doubt that. I look very plain."

"No you don't," Zetsu said. He leaned into close to Kano's face and stared at it for a moment, "your eyes are amazing…so brown…just like the soil of the earth. Don't get me wrong…I plant a lot, and I love the way soil feels in between my hands."

"R-really Zetsu-kun?"

"ZETSU-SAN IS WEIRD ISN'T HE KANO-CHAN!?"

"TOBI! You ruined it…I could have kissed her! Idiot…" Zetsu slumped back into his chair after hitting Tobi on the head, causing his eyes to water. "You still can Zetsu-kun…and are you alright Tobi-kun," Kano asked, kissing Tobi's head lightly.

"Really," asked Zetsu. Kano nodded and he swept up to her, kissing her lips softly. "Thank you Kano-chan."

"TOBI FEELS UNLOVED!!"

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"My name is Dawn, and I'd like to see Hidan and Tobi."

"Alright then! Right this way…lemme warn you though…Hidan has a foul mouth. I hope you know that."

"I know, it's not a problem." Kandai had the girl follow her to a section of the room where two boys sat. One was currently being chocked, and the other was the chocker. "Ahem…Hidan. STOP THAT!"

"Heh…damn it. Sorry Kandai. Hello…who are you?"

"TOBI HAS ANOTHER FRIEND!!! YAY!!!"

"Um…wow. Hello Hidan-kun, Tobi-kun. My name is Dawn."

"Dawwwwnnnn-chan! HIYA!!" Tobi patted the space on the coach next to him, Dawn sat in between the two boys. Tobi kissed her cheek, with a big 'chu' sound. "Tobi quit it. Now, Dawn…do you believe in Jashin-sama?"

"Hidan-san…asking people's religious beliefs is generally frowned on."

"Of course! Who doesn't believe in Jashin?" Hidan's eyes widened to the size of plates and he spoke, "this may scare you…but I think I love you." Dawn turned blood red and mumbled, "don't say things like that so freely…"

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"Another one for Itachi-kun…damn. Right this way Spiro-chan!"

Spiro sat, next to Itachi on a small loveseat while the said Uchiha was reading poetry. "What are you reading Itachi-kun?"

"Poems…"

"Ah, do you like poetry?"

"Yes. Very much so. Although, I am rather terrible at writing it." Spiro nodded, and looked at Itachi closely. "May I ask what your staring at?" Spiro turned red and quickly looked away. "I'm sorry…it was rude to gawk."

"Not at all…now face me." She did as he said, and Itachi held her chin carefully. "I'm going to gawk now too alright?" The two sat there for a bit, before Itachi started moving his face closer and then planted a tender kiss on Spiro's lips. "Gawking is a good thing you see…?"

"Yes…very good." And they moved forward once again.

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"Welcome to the Host Club, may I help you?"

"Yes…my name is and Mai and I love to see Sasori-kun." With a slight frown, Kandai nodded. "Right this way. Sasori. This girl would like to spend a few minutes with you."

"Hello there Sasori-kun…I'm Mai-chan."

"Ahh…hello then. How are you this afternoon Mai-chan?" Mai giggled and sat down next to him.

"Just fine…how about you?" Sasori wrapped an arm around her and grinned.

"Better, now that I have someone to talk to…"

"Well…that you do." He narrowed his eyes at her, and stared for a moment. "You are a work of art m'dear…how I wish I could proudly say I crafted something as lovely as yourself. "

"But then…you would be my parent, no? That would mean what your doing now…would be criminal." Sasori grinned once more and nodded. "That's correct…and I suppose…this would be criminal too." And with that he kissed her, and Mai's blue eyes widened to the size of plates.

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Well, that's it for today…the host club is closed! I'm so sorry to everyone waiting, but it's a lot to write and think of, and I need feedback on what else I can do to make it better, so please review and give me some ideas!


	3. Chapter 3

Akatsuki Host Club: Author's Note

OK everyone. First off I'd really appreciate if you read this.

Second, I'd like the people leaving me numerous comments, saying to update, TO STOP! It's extremely annoying, and puts more stress on me.

Thirdly, this WILL take FOREVER to update. Because I get so many complicated reviews…and a lot of people ask for more then one person, so it gets harder. Please BEAR with me, I have a life too. I'm a student and I work my butt off to get good grades alright?

Fourth, I'd like to tweak the rules. Please do NOT come back again, I'm sorry about that and it probably seems mean…but it's the best way to have everyone satisfied and still be fair.

Fifth, From now on PLEASE only request ONE person. It's WAYYYY too hard if you ask for 3, or even all of them. That also makes your paragraph longer, and isn't fair to the people with shorter ones.

Sixth, it's really hard for me to think of sweet, romantic stuff for them to do, so that it's NEW every time. Or at least, sort of new. So if you have any REALISTIC suggestions, please feel free to PM me or review.

Once again, PLEASE STOP bothering me about updating. Thanks very much.

Purplewolfstar35


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